Spring Break our children go to their other parents homes. We gather up the Saturday it begins and head three and a half hours on the high way to meet them halfway. We don’t have to, but we’ve found that cooperating and meeting half way is easier on all of us. Often the children’s stepmom is who meets us as opposed to their father. His work schedule is often difficult and it is easier all around if we meet her on the road. Upon arrival at a restaurant or store, we exchange pleasantries and then luggage. If a child is ill or having allergies, we talk about that too. It’s a pleasant exchange of children and then we’re off.
During Spring Break at our home we try very hard to take time to work on our marriage relationship. We eat foods that only the adults enjoy, we rent movies and take walks. This weekend we took Sunday and explored some land to build a home on in the future. We went down the country lanes and enjoyed the beauty of the day. These are intentional hand holding look into his eyes deeply moments….time to reconnect.
One of my favorite things to do when the children are away is to prepare a romantic meal at home over candlelight. I think it matters. I work on looking extra nice each evening when Les comes home and having something fun for dinner or dessert. It helps us realize that we are a WE even with children.
Texting with the children is this years interesting transition. We rarely call when they are visiting for a week, for its time with their parents “there” and we want them to focus on the good times there. When we call or involve very much it could be a trigger to keep them feeling torn between our homes. The truth is we want them to have a wonderful time there, to enjoy their spring break. Why wouldn’t we want that for them? Every now and then the devil tries to convince me that the children will want to live there full time….we had that conversation and subsequent court issue a few years ago with one of our children…but most of the time I can simply recognize that as unnecessary fear….and if they did we would work it out. They are 13 and 16 now..and able to discuss and process why they would feel that way.
Texting allows each of us to affirm we miss them and love them and to tell them to have a great day. Its unobtrusive and yet a moment of communication to say “love you!” When we meet them again next Sunday we’ll plan a quiet evening and a great meal when they arrive. It is important to me to give them 24 to 48 hours to emotionally process the transition. They come home exhausted and worn out, so its time to rest as well, then slowly we go back to our established routines by about day 3. This allows everyone time to readjust and handle any anxiety that moving households brings.
How do you handle transitions at your home?