Do you acknowledge your feelings? So many folks have learned to stop feeling to avoid the risk of feeling because they are still dealing with painful situations or pasts that they are not processing. What if one simply began to own what it is that upsets them and make choices to change the scenario. So much of life is thought to be all or nothing. This way or that. What I find as I travel this journey of choosing peace is that many times, the issue or situation that caused so much grief, pain, or frustration CAN be sorted in short order with amazingly different results. One of my dear friends had this experience two weeks ago. She is very smart, very resilient, very hard working…her buddies see her as superwoman, but she was facing changes that were tough for her. When a friend came to suggest he could help, her response was that she didn’t need help and jabbed back at him in a humorous sort of way. Later I asked why she wasn’t more truthful on what she needed. That she needed kindness and perhaps physical assistance with the issue at hand and might should have expressed that. She looked at me dubious and said “I won’t give him that…” The next day however, she experimented with being vulnerable. Much to her surprise the person not only did as she asked and needed him to do, he continued to send positive texts and supportive emails the following week.
How much of our struggle to find peace is because we won’t let others in our struggle? Personally I’m a “come talk to me and I’ll get alot done girl” cleaning my home or facing a big move, I want someone to come and keep me company while I work. No need to help, just sit and talk to me and I’ll get it done! We each have things that help us find peace and productivity. In my office color matters. I am easily distracted by colors, and the things I place in my office matter, the items and patterns carefully chosen because they do bring peace. I have eight cups in my cabinet not because I wouldn’t love 800, but because 8 fit, don’t require clutter, and handle most dinner parties I host. Choosing peace for me means knowing where “when” is…remember the movie Regarding Harry…when the elder secretary taught the brain damaged man that you say “when” to let someone know when your cup is full? A good bit of this choosing peace journey for me is about learning where it is my cup is full in life. Each day I seek to have a wealth of living, not simply creating wealth. It means taking time out for pumpkin hunting, baking favorite dinners, hugging extra hard and long before teens leave for evenings away, making time to set a pretty table. These things allow me to choose peace in my heart…which is wealth indeed to me!